Directionless
So, now that I'm participating in the blog I figured it was time for me to post again. I don't really know what to write or how much to tell but here goes...
I'm going to be coming back home to Toronto on October 15th. I guess I really see the glass as half empty and half full in this. I definately don't regret my time in Mongolia and I would come back for sure. I have learned a lot and experienced a lot of unique things (yes Parker I realize that makes it about me). There are things I would do differently if I go overseas again. It's hard to articualte everything I feel about it on a blog. The Baerg's are an amazing family and are definately the thing I will miss most about Mongolia.
I've probly changed my mind about school roughly 100 times in the past 6 months. I think I've finally started to accept that I'm pretty directionless right now. I really do want to go to school but I don't know where or what to study. I float from social work type things, to wanting to major in religious studies. I'm pretty sure I will start somewhere in January. Any direction here would be useful. Does anyone have a two-way to God?
So here is the personal fuzzy sharing part of my post. To be completely honest, over the last little while I've really wondered whether or not I'm a Christian. Not so much in terms of my faith in Christ or God. I think more in terms of being accepted by other Christians. I've come to a point where I feel like it's impossible to know many definates about God. I'm also a skeptic. I question everything. I think this can make some Christians(or anyone) really uncomfortable. If I don't hold a certain view or theology about something then I'm a heretic or something. Most of the time I'm not sure what I think. What I really want is for people to be willing to look at a different side. Willing to admit they aren't sure. Maybe this type of thinking means I'll never be accepted in some Christian ciricles. Maybe I'm crazy and it's all in my head. I guess a lot of this has stemmed from different questions I have about sin nature and suffering and the church. You know, the nice light topics. That's all I got.
Thanks for the prayers. Drop me a line if you're in Toronto anytime soon.
Love God, Love People.
--Kirk
posted by Kirk at 10/05/2006 02:28:00 a.m.
5 Comments:
Bro thats aesome to hear, let alone hear form you, keep posting man. And im absolutly siked to maybe see you again when head off to Toronto again next summer...
cuz theres just some things in life just just become inseprable*
God Bless bro
Hey Kirky. Miss you bro. Umm got nothing much to say except well you're always excepted in my christian circles unless you decide homosexuality isn't actually a sin. I have to draw the line somewhere. Lol but seriously bro Miss you and i'll try and pray as often as I remember-Hawsy
Kirk,
I agree a lot with what you said about always questioning things and being a skeptic. I can relate to those feelings a lot. No matter how close I get to God or how close I let him in my life I still question whether I am a Christian. I don't know if this is encouraging...knowing that you're not alone, but I just thought you put it into words so well that it really hit home. I will be praying for you!! I am so happy that you are discovering more and more about life, your personal relationship with God and just about Christianity. Thanks for sharing Kirk.
Thanks for all the encouragment guys.
after reading kirk's comment to parker about his experience in mongolia sort of being about him, i think you guys (and everyone who reads this) should listen to this sermon:
ten shekels and a shirt by paris reidhead
http://www.sermonaudio.com/sermoninfo.asp?currSection=sermonsspeaker&sermonID=10180222445
very powerful. makes you think about exactly why we are christians.
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