God are you there?
Hey guys, just thought I would leave a bit of a note with you guys about what's happening here with me and Justin. Well, I'll start with Justin. He had been getting pretty frustrated because he is supposed to be apprenticing as a refridgeration mechanic with my dad but the people that my dad are working for are very difficult and slowing the process down alot. He is going to get hired but the matter is just when. So he was driving himself as well as me crazy because he had nothing to do. Well he found some in between work working at Sport Chek putting bikes together, he actually just went there now for the first time to do some work, I think he will enjoy it, he was pretty excited. As for me.... man guys I don't think I have been such a wreck.... everything just sucks and I don't know why. I have been having my quite times and crying out to God and I know he's there, but it just really feels like he's not going to act on anything that I request. I have applied for many jobs and I haven't heard back from one.... I NEED A JOB! I can't sit around my house any longer. Justin and I are driving out to Leduc to go to a wedding in like three weeks and we have no money to put gas into the tank of my vehicle. I need to get a job so that we can go away for that weekend. Besides that, I have been having weird dreams lately, I really don't know if I am looking into this too much, but it just seems like these dreams are attacking me. The last four nights in a row I have had dreams that I have woken up being very upset. Most of them I wake up crying. I'll explain them a little bit. SO lately I have been feeling really alone because of friends (I'll go into that later) and so the first dream I had I woke up crying because in my dream Justin had taken sides with my sister on something and they wouldn't listen to me at all. I woke up feeling so incredibly alone. The next dream I had was one that involved terrorists keeping me and justin and my parents and a bunch of other people captive in the middle of the desert and then they would either take people outside of the building we were in and kill them, or bring them back in and make us have to torture them. I woke up crying when they took Justin outside with them. The next night I had another dream but right now I can't recall what it was about but again I woke up crying. Last night I had a dream that just portrayed Justin being a jerk. I woke up so very angry at him and it made me very angry. I don't know usually I don't have dreams that upset me if I have them at all, and this just seems to me like it could be an attack because these dreams do affect me when I get up in the morning crying. It's scary. Lastly.... My friends..... I don't have any here. I'll explain a bit about me and my friends. I had never had friends until my grade 11 year when I met all these great people. We all went to the same youth group had amazing discussions and hearts for god.... it was sweet. When our Youth Pastor moved away I could slowly see them growing away from God, but still could at least see that there was a bit of it there. Then I came to Kaleo..... then I came home from Kaleo..... My friends are different people. I don't know them anymore. There is absolutely no hint to anyone that they believe in God or what not..... I feel so drained after hanging out with them. Justin and I hung out with them the other night and they were good until they started watching a completely disgusting show..... like I mean gross.... uk.... Me and Justin got up and played pool while they were watching then I went home and cried. I have a few other friends that I feel just take from me as well. My spirit is so drained. I'm just not me.... Justin tells me that all the time.... that I'm just not me today or whatever..... I don't know what is wrong with me but I would really love your prayers. Also.... I have this crazy back/butt pain in my right side. My mom says my hip is probably out of place... it really hurts and I would rather not go to a doctor. Please pray. I would really appreciate it. So sorry this is so mopey and sad, but you guys are the only people I can talk to right now besides Justin. I need prayer. I love you guys. Still hoping to see some of you guys in the fall at Briercrest. I love you all so much. God Bless
posted by Charissa at 6/19/2006 01:40:00 p.m.
4 Comments:
Wow... that's so harsh! I don't know what advice to give you... I'm definitely praying for you and Justin, so thanks so much for sharing so we know what to pray for!
...alright, maybe I do have some advice. Start working on one thing at a time... I would start with the dreams. Give those dreams over to God. I was also spiritually attacked through dreams during Kaleo and Jim gave me that advice. Your situation sounds pretty similar, so I'm gonna give you that same advice.
After the dreams go away (trust me, they will), give your 'job' over to God. I have to confess, I doubted God that I would get a job... and I told Him that. I felt so low because I didn't have a job, and I blamed God. Next thing you know, I have a job. Now I definitely didn't go about that the right way... but you still have a chance to! God can (and will) take care of all your needs... we just need a little faith. If there's been one lesson I've learned at home, it's that one.
That's all I can say... I wish I could help you more... but perhaps it's time for us to fully rely on God again. Prayin 4 u!
Jason
Charissa! My pastor is all about wierd and re-occuring dreams, pray over them Charissa, even if you think they may just be harmless, pray against Satan in the Name that is above all names. And for your looking for work, God ALWAYS provides, its maybe just not His time right now.
And of course the back and butt pain, remember Heptings blog about his leg* You KNOW I'm praying for you guys, and I dont know what else to say. I am going to a Wedding in Leduc too, in August, but if you guys are here fro more than that day, call me up and we can hang!
And if nothing else to encourage you...You'll DEF. be seeing me this fall, we can all hang on weekends and stuff!!!
Heart you tonnes sister*
Charissa!!!
I miss you! I will for sure be praying for you. Keep being strong, with all of us praying I'm sure it's only a matter of time before things start to look up again. I heart you, and I miss you lots!
Thanks for pouring out your heart to us, Charissa, and in a way also pouring out your heart to God. Being unemployed sucks! It hasn't happened to me a lot, but I had one lengthy experience with it. I think what God did to keep me sane was to put it in my mind to fill up my empty days with things that were significant. Much of the toys our kids grew up with and the furniture we still use was made by me in my dad's shop during that period. I helped a committee think through the start-up of a new camp, taught a Bible study, spent lots of time with my parents - none of which earned me a cent, but none of which I now regret.
Dreams are the result of your mind sorting out the information you have taken in and processed, and there is no doubt that Satan can manipulate and use your dreams against you. Pray against the dreams, but also give your thoughts better direction through better activity. I bet there is a ton of significant stuff near you that could fill up your days and create better sleep and better health. Ask God, ask your church, ask your family's friends. I think it will help. Thanks for keeping us up-to-date!
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